Wasn’t last week eventful for all of our gay friends around the world? First we had President Obama promising to amend the “don’t ask don’t tell” law in the American Military to “go on, tell”. Second, our gracious savior the Pope Benedict XVI, decided to tell Britain how important equality is to all of society, that is, apart from gay people.
The problem with gays (there’s a sentence you don’t here nearly as often as you used to) is that they are far too nice. Gay parades are always happy, love affairs with plenty of prancing, dancing and genital thrusting. You never see a gay militant group making threats behind a rainbow bandana. Or a gay mob running down the streets of London throwing hair straighteners and plastic willies through shop windows. The women’s suffrage movement took years of protest, clashes with police and even a poor girl being run over by a horse to achieve voting rights for women. Until the gay community gets organised and serious about making equality a reality, they’re going to have to patiently wait around as second class citizens in many parts of the world.
Israel is yet to recognise gay marriage. To be fair, Israel hasn’t recognised any marriage unless there is an orthodox rabbi involved. Everyone has to go through this fictional theatre of pretending to be a religious virgin to get the approval of a beardy moose to marry. Our all knowing perfect leader of yesteryear, David Ben Gurion cocked up. He agreed to give the institution of marriage over to the Rabbinate of Israel, and no government has been able to mud wrestle back control. If you are have a same sex wedding you have to fly abroad to somewhere like Cyprus, have a civil ceremony, and return to Israel registering your marriage at the Ministry of Interior.
Let’s take some serious action people. It’s time we stuck it to the rabbi. Until the government introduces civil marriage, I propose we boycott the institution if marriage. Let’s create our own civil ceremony, with our own spiritual leaders ordaining loving couples of any faith, sexual orientation or gender. In fact, lets actively encourage inter-religious, same sex, incestuous relationships. We will give people the social recognition they deserve, and celebrate their right to spend their lives together even if they are Muslim Jewish brothers.
And finally I turn to you, my dear friend Pope Benedict XVI. Perhaps I was a little hasty a few months ago calling for the death penalty to be reintroduced just to see you hanging like a white turd on a string. When Jesus said, “do unto others as you would have other do unto you” (Matthew 7:12), perhaps Jesus was actually speaking about everyone except for homosexuals. While we’re quoting the New Testament, “it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven” (Luke 18:25). How is a big fat camel like you going to squeeze into heaven? Last time I checked the books of the Catholic Church, you appeared loaded with enough cash to guarantee you an eternity in damnation. If you get a little chilly this winter, do not fear as I hear its toasty in hell, full of people like you who enjoy a little religious fascism.
Wasn’t last week eventful for all of our gay friends around the world? First we had President Obama promising to amend the “don’t ask don’t tell” law in the American Military to “go on, tell”. Second, our gracious savior the Pope Benedict XVI, decided to tell Britain how important equality is to all of society, that is, apart from gay people.
The problem with gays (there’s a sentence you don’t here nearly as often as you used to) is that they are far too nice. Gay parades are always happy, love affairs with plenty of prancing, dancing and genital thrusting. You never see a gay militant group making threats behind a rainbow bandana. Or a gay mob running down the streets of London throwing hair straighteners and plastic willies through shop windows. The women’s suffrage movement took years of protest, clashes with police and even a poor girl being run over by a horse to achieve voting rights for women. Until the gay community gets organised and serious about making equality a reality, they’re going to have to patiently wait around as second class citizens in many parts of the world.
Israel is yet to recognise gay marriage. To be fair, Israel hasn’t recognised any marriage unless there is an orthodox rabbi involved. Everyone has to go through this fictional theatre of pretending to be a religious virgin to get the approval of a beardy moose to marry. Our all knowing perfect leader of yesteryear, David Ben Gurion cocked up. He agreed to give the institution of marriage over to the Rabbinate of Israel, and no government has been able to mud wrestle back control. If you are have a same sex wedding you have to fly abroad to somewhere like Cyprus, have a civil ceremony, and return to Israel registering your marriage at the Ministry of Interior.
Let’s take some serious action people. It’s time we stuck it to the rabbi. Until the government introduces civil marriage, I propose we boycott the institution if marriage. Let’s create our own civil ceremony, with our own spiritual leaders ordaining loving couples of any faith, sexual orientation or gender. In fact, lets actively encourage inter-religious, same sex, incestuous relationships. We will give people the social recognition they deserve, and celebrate their right to spend their lives together even if they are Muslim Jewish brothers.
And finally I turn to you, my dear friend Pope Benedict XVI. Perhaps I was a little hasty a few months ago calling for the death penalty to be reintroduced just to see you hanging like a white turd on a string. When Jesus said, “do unto others as you would have other do unto you” (Matthew 7:12), perhaps Jesus was actually speaking about everyone except for homosexuals. While we’re quoting the New Testament, “it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven” (Luke 18:25). How is a big fat camel like you going to squeeze into heaven? Last time I checked the books of the Catholic Church, you appeared loaded with enough cash to guarantee you an eternity in damnation. If you get a little chilly this winter, do not fear as I hear its toasty in hell, full of people like you who enjoy a little religious fascism.
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Posted in Comment, Israel, Religion, judaism, politics | Tags: democracy, discrimination, equality, freedom, gay, homosexual, Israel, marriage, politics, pope, Religion